Is it Wrong to Give Your Child Up for Adoption?

How Adoption Creates a Better Future for You and Your Child  

Wondering if it’s wrong to put your child up for adoption is a common thought for women considering adoption. But, adoption is never wrong, and it creates a better future for you and your baby.  

  • Adoption is always an option, and it’s never wrong.  
  • Adoption is never “giving up” on your child.  
  • You must make the best decision for you and your child.  

You can always get more information about adoption and its many benefits by filling out this form to connect with a professional. Many adoption professionals have a personal experience with adoption and provide a unique perspective on this life-changing decision.  

The following information will focus on the benefits of adoption, how the perception of adoption has changed and how it’s never wrong to place your baby for adoption.  

Is Putting Your Child Up for Adoption Wrong?  

“Parenting isn’t a late-night comedy on television. It isn’t a Disney collection of the greatest hits. Parenting is sacrifice. Parenting is a responsibility. Parenting is leadership, guidance, availability, nurturing, and so many other things.  

Parenting is not something life skills class in high school can ever prepare you for. Even the most prepared planned parenting is difficult. Parenting is a real challenge. Parenting is not for the faint of heart. Parenting isn’t for anyone at any time. Parenting is permanent and committed. I wasn’t ready to be a parent.”  

That’s what Lindsay Arielle, who placed her son for adoption in 2011 and contributes to this site, said. Parenting requires sacrifice and a commitment many birth moms aren’t ready to take on.  

When asking, “Is it wrong to put your baby up for adoption?” you first need to assess whether you’re ready to be a parent to your child.  

In many cases, women don’t want to be or aren’t ready to be a parent at the time of an unplanned pregnancy. Maybe you relate to that. 

Complex circumstances in life can make parenting impossible. Whatever the case, it’s never wrong to place your baby up for adoption.  

Candice is a birth mother that knew her circumstances meant parenting wasn’t an option, so she chose adoption.  

“I became pregnant at the worst possible time of my life. My husband and I were separated. He wanted me to have an abortion, and I couldn’t bring myself to do that. I talked with him about adoption, and he agreed.”  

You can reach out to a professional today to get more information on how adoption is always an option when parenting isn’t.  

Making the Best Decision for You and Your Baby  

There used to be a shameful stigma around adoption, but that has changed. Today, adoption is widely recognized as a heroic decision and adoptions, in general, have become more open. Before, adoption was seen as a secret, and women were made to feel ashamed for placing a child with another family.  

“Adoption is not a dirty little secret. It is a brave, selfless, and courageous decision that only a strong woman can make. If anything, I say be proud of your choice, and divulge when comfortable,” said Lindsay when offering advice on how to talk about your adoption decision.  

Casey, a birth mother who placed her child for adoption with American Adoptions, one of the largest adoption agencies in the country, also understands that adoption can come with a stigma.  

“Adoption has a stigma,” Casey said. “You know, there’s that ignorance that you’re ‘giving up’ the children when you do not ‘give up’ a human being. In reality, you’re choosing something for them… I know a lot of people try to hide it because they’re ashamed of it, and you shouldn’t be. You made a big and hard decision for what was best for your child, and you should be proud of that.”   

Taking Control of Your Unplanned Pregnancy [And Your Future] 

The most important thing to remember is the choice of adoption is completely up to you. No one can pressure you into parenting, abortion or adoption.  

If you feel that adoption is the best option for your unplanned pregnancy, it’s never wrong. If you find yourself asking, “Is it selfish to give my baby up for adoption?” you should know that as a birth mother, your decision isn’t selfish, it’s selfless.  

Additionally, adoption is never “giving up” on your baby. You are choosing to create a better future by finding the perfect adoptive family to give your child a life full of opportunity. That makes you a hero.  

While placing your child for adoption comes with difficult emotions, you can find comfort knowing that you made the best decision for you and your baby’s future.  

Julia was faced with making the difficult decision of placing her child for adoption, but ultimately, she knew it was right for her under the circumstances.  

“Don’t get me wrong, it’s really hard,” Julia said. “There were plenty of times when I felt like I was scared… but I felt like it was the right decision for me — and I still feel like that today.”  

“I’m all about choices and doing what is right for you, and I felt like, for me, I made the right choice,” she added. “Because I made the right choice for me, it really didn’t impact me negatively.”  

Among the emotions associated with choosing adoption is the worry over a child resenting the birth mother for choosing adoption.  

Thankfully, open adoption allows birth parents the opportunity to stay connected with the adoptive family and their child for years to come.  

Before reading about the tremendous benefits of open adoption, don’t forget to fill out our online form to connect with a professional who can help you get your adoption journey started today.  

Open Adoption  

Included in asking, “Is it bad to give your baby up for adoption?” is the concern for the long-term impact on the child.  

Women often wonder if their children will be angry that they were placed for adoption. In what is known as “closed adoption,” the risk of identity issues was much higher as an adoptee entered teenage years and adulthood.   

Through open adoption, you have the chance to build a relationship and get to know the adoptive family throughout the adoption process and maintain a connection long after the complete placement of your child.  

That means you also get to develop and maintain a connection with your child. At some point, you can explain your adoption decision so that your child knows you made it out of love and the desire to give them the best chance at a life full of opportunity.  

These conversations help reduce your child from having identity issues and other complex emotional struggles with their adoptions story later in life.  

Because you are in charge of your adoption plan, you can determine how much communication you wish to have with the adoptive family and your child.  

Now that you know the choice of adoption is never wrong and never “giving up” on your baby, how do you get started?  

Work with the Best Adoption Professionals  

We’ve focused on answering the question, “Is it putting your child up for adoption wrong?”   

It’s never wrong, and when you choose the right agency, you get to work with an experienced professional that will guide you through every step of the amazing adoption journey. You’ll also get:  

You’ll also quickly learn that many adoption professionals have a personal connection with adoption, as many are adoptees, adoptive parents or birth parents.  

You deserve to work with professionals that care for you, for the future of your baby and help you find the perfect adoptive family. If you’d like help finding a professional, you can contact us today to be connected with an adoption agency.  

As you move forward, always keep in mind adoption is never “wrong,” “selfish” or “bad.” It’s heroic.

About the Author

Lindsay Arielle has been a proud birth mother since placing her son for adoption in 2011. Her post-placement agreement has always been an open adoption. She loves the time she gets to spend with her son and his parents during visits. Lindsay truly believes that for herself and her family, adoption has been a blessing, and she enjoys writing about spiritual healing for birth mothers.

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