It’s Not Too Late to Choose Adoption

You Can Choose Last-Minute Adoption At Birth or After Pregnancy

“Is it too late to give my baby for adoption? I am far along in my pregnancy; is it too late for adoption before my baby is born? I have already given birth; will anyone want my baby? My baby is an infant, can I still choose adoption? My baby is no longer an infant; what is the deadline for giving baby up for adoption?”

These are some common questions that potential birth mothers have regarding when they can choose adoption. Whether late in a pregnancy or taking care of a child who has already been born, adoption is still an option.

At-Birth Adoption

Giving baby up for adoption at birth is probably going to provide for the easiest adoption transition and process. At this stage, it will likely be easier for the baby to transition to a new home, and both birth mom and baby will get a fresh start right out of the gate. It is not difficult to find someone to adopt at birth; there are hundreds of waiting adoptive families and adoption professionals who can help you find the perfect fit.

The next question that may come up if adoption before or at birth is not chosen is: Can you give a baby up for adoption after it’s born? The answer is yes. Even if the choice is giving baby up for adoption after birth, you still have options.

My Six-Month-Old

Can you put your baby up for adoption after you’ve had him? Again, the answer is yes. I chose adoption when my son was six months old. Obviously, this was a case of adoption after pregnancy. Within three weeks of making the decision, he had been placed with his adoptive family and the adoption proceedings were under way. I was afraid when I chose adoption that he was too old, but I was assured by my agency that he was not too old, and it wasn’t too late, and they were right. He found his way to his family at six months old, and we both could find peace and happiness because of the adoption decision that I made.

Adoptive Parents Have Patience for Their Child

When is it too late to find adoptive parents for my coming baby? There are waiting families for adoption that will welcome a baby into their homes and families when it is the right time. Perhaps a potential birth mother had considered adoption throughout her pregnancy, but didn’t realize that adoption really was the best option until after the baby was born. It is an option to give an already born baby up for adoption.

In my experience, my son’s adoptive parents were ecstatic that he was joining their family. They loved him, and his age played no factor in that love. He was theirs. Age is nothing but a number when it comes to love, and that goes for adoption also.

Benefits and Challenges to a Later Adoption

There are benefits and challenges of placing a child up for adoption, regardless of what stage of pregnancy a potential birth mother is in or how old the child may be. Waiting to choose adoption, for me, brought with it quite a few challenges. I was breastfeeding my son, and breaking the bond hurt so badly. Yet, I could nourish him for six months until the parents he was meant to have could come into the picture.

Great Benefit

The greatest benefit to a later adoption is the confidence a birth mother may have regarding her decision. The birth mother has had time to make her decision regarding adoption. She hasn’t been rushed, and has had time to seriously consider her options. She may have had the opportunity to spend time bonding with her child, and knows that it is time to make a better decision for her child.

Great Challenge

The greatest challenge to a later adoption is facing the grief of losing the role as a custodial parent for a birth mother. A birth mother has built a bond with her child, and having to face that bond evolving into a new bond with a new mother can feel heartbreaking.

Make the Decision when You’re Ready

If you know at the early stages of pregnancy that you want to choose adoption, then you have nine months ahead of you to create an adoption plan, find a family, and get ready for the placement. If you are later in your pregnancy, you may feel rushed, but placing the child in temporary foster care is an option as well to give you enough time to get through the adoption process. If you have an infant, like I did, there are ways to expedite the process if you are serious and stay focused.

Birth mothers choosing adoption for their child after birth do not have to feel rushed either. There is no deadline for completing the adoption process, and a birth mother can choose to move the process along at her pace. Don’t allow anyone force you into doing something if you are not ready to do it.

Maximum Age for Adopting a Child

How late can you give your child up for adoption? There is no maximum age for placing a child for adoption. Whether the child is still in utero, is an infant, a baby, a toddler, or a child, adoption is still an option.  However, the older the child is, the more difficult choosing adoption might seem. The child has had time to grow and bond with his or her caretakers, and those caretakers will go through a variety of emotions through grief and loss. A birth mother will have more challenges ahead of her the longer she waits, as she has taken care of the child for a longer period. The sooner the adoption decision is made, the easier the process will be for everyone involved.

Last-Minute Adoption

If a birth mother decides on adoption late in pregnancy, and wants to place the baby at birth, there are ways to expedite the adoption process. A last-minute decision for adoption is not too late. Deciding to give your baby up for adoption last minute is still an option. While  it’s not ideal, it is doable. Contact an adoption agency or adoption attorney as early as possible to ensure a timely and smoother transition for adoption.

Waiting to Choose Adoption is Not Optimal, But It’s Never Too Late

I chose adoption after I had exhausted myself as a parent. I do not recommend waiting if it can be avoided, but healing is possible, and adoption is an option no matter how far through a pregnancy or infancy you are.

It is not too late to choose adoption.

About the Author

Lindsay Arielle has been a proud birth mother since placing her son for adoption in 2011. Her post-placement agreement has always been an open adoption. She loves the time she gets to spend with her son and his parents during visits. Lindsay truly believes that for herself and her family, adoption has been a blessing, and she enjoys writing about spiritual healing for birth mothers.

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