What Real Birth Mothers Say about Being Pregnant and Giving Up For Adoption

Stories From Birth Parents Who Have Been in Your Shoes

Many people find themselves wondering what the adoption process looks like when pregnant and giving up for adoption. Fortunately, you are not alone.

That’s why many birth mothers have decided to share their stories about adoption, hoping they can ease some of the stress and anxiety you might be feeling when you’re pregnant and giving up for adoption. Below, you can read three stories from birth mothers who have been in your shoes and know firsthand the emotions you may be experiencing.  

If you have any questions about the adoption process, then you can get free information here.

1. Sara’s Adoption Story

When Sara first found out about her pregnancy, she knew immediately that parenting wouldn’t be possible. With no father figure involved and having raised two boys alone, she didn’t want to go through that experience again. Knowing there were options helped ease Sara’s nerves.

“I was scared to do it again on my own at that age, and having two boys that were already grown,” Sara recalls. “It was comforting to know that there were options out there and that adoption was available to me.”

After deciding that adoption was the best choice, Sara found an adoption agency and began looking at hopeful families. Sara decided on an open adoption, which would mean that Sara and her sons could continue to be a part of her child’s life even after the adoption had been completed.

With the help of her adoption agency, Sara found a young couple, Korby and Sammi, that she knew would be perfect for her baby. When you’re pregnant and giving up for adoption, finding an adoptive family is one of the most important steps in the adoption process.

“Each time we would meet, each time we would talk, we would realize that we were more like each other than we were different,” Sara said. “They were the ones. There wasn’t a doubt about that.”

Sara encountered some obstacles in her adoption journey when a potential birth father intervened. But, eight days after her son was born, Sara was approved to take a paternity test, which confirmed that he wasn’t the father. Having spent so much time with her son, Sara couldn’t help but feel emotional when it was time for placement.

“It was rough in the beginning, but it does get better,” Sara said. “It takes you a while to realize that what you did was the best thing and, regardless of the situation that put you there, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. Your ultimate decision was to place him with a family that would love him unconditionally, love him like he was their biological child.”

You can read more of Sara’s adoption story here.

2. Carmen’s Adoption Story

Carmen found out about her pregnancy a few years after she had her first daughter. When the child’s father removed himself from their lives, she knew parenting a child alone was going to be difficult. She thought long and hard about her options and what would be best for herself and all her children.

“Through much thought, prayer and the support of family and friends, I came to the immensely difficult decision to give my son up for adoption,” Carmen recalls.

She began researching adoption agencies and looking at hopeful families. Although her adoption decision was difficult, finding the right family was much easier.

“I spent the next several weeks combing through what must have been dozens of wonderful families,” Carmen said. “Then I found them – the couple that I immediately felt connected to.”

The couple was Rob and Allie, who were just as excited as Carmen to enter the next phase of their adoption journey together. When you’re pregnant and giving up for adoption, you can choose an open adoption to get to know the adoptive family and stay connected with your child after placement.  

“Once we found each other, it was as if we were attending a normal family get-together. We talked and laughed and enjoyed each other’s company,” Carmen said. “I grew to know and care for them – not only as the couple that would become the parents to my unborn son, but as friends and family.”

Carmen made it a priority to include Rob and Allie in her pregnancy and hospital plan as much as possible. When her son RJ was born, Carmen wanted Rob to cut the umbilical cord, and Allie was the first to hold RJ for crucial skin-to-skin contact. When Rob, Allie and RJ left the hospital, Carmen knew it wasn’t goodbye.

“Every time I hear from Rob and Allie, I am shown how happy they are together, which warms my heart,” Carmen said. “We truly are an unconventional family.”

Read more of Carmen’s adoption story here.

3. Janelle’s Adoption Story

Janelle and her husband had been trying to conceive for the better part of the year and finally got pregnant around Christmas time. They found out Janelle was pregnant with twins and started preparing everything they could to welcome two babies into the world. But, as the pregnancy progressed, things started to change, and what was once joy and excitement turned to stress and anxiety.

“Four months rolls around, and my husband and I were like, ‘Alright this is real,’” Janelle said. “We were having trouble paying our bills and affording rent and affording food, and that was when we made the decision to look into adoption.”

For Janelle, there was no hesitation going into the adoption process. She knew it was the right choice for her. Janelle began looking at adoptive families and had specific preferences on the type of family she wanted for her baby.

When you’re pregnant and giving up for adoption, you can be as specific as you want when deciding on an adoptive family. Janelle wanted a family that lived in her state. When she found a couple that lived three hours away, she knew she had to meet them. The couple drove to Janelle’s hometown, and the connection was instant.

“After I met [the adoptive family], I knew this was what needed to happen,” Janelle said. “I knew it was the right decision.”

Her twins were born three weeks later, and Janelle was grateful for every minute she got to spend with them. She contacted the adoptive mother often during the first few months to check on the boys whenever she was feeling down. But, as time passed, Janelle began to heal and was able to have a little more space.

“After two or three months, I realized they’re where they need to be: I was getting pictures; they were happy,” Janelle said. “Now it’s almost been a year, and I miss them sometimes – I miss them all the time, and sometimes I wonder what life could have been like if I kept them – but I know it was the right choice.”

Read more of Janelle’s adoption story here.

Are you ready to begin the adoption process? Fill out our contact form now to get more free adoption information.

About the Author

Lindsay Arielle has been a proud birth mother since placing her son for adoption in 2011. Her post-placement agreement has always been an open adoption. She loves the time she gets to spend with her son and his parents during visits. Lindsay truly believes that for herself and her family, adoption has been a blessing, and she enjoys writing about spiritual healing for birth mothers.

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