How to Decide if Closed Adoption is Right for You
Although most modern adoptions are open, some prospective birth mothers choose closed adoption because it’s best for their situation.
We recognize that not every birth mother wants to build a relationship with the hopeful adoptive family or their child. And that’s OK. Every prospective birth mother who chooses adoption gets to determine what’s right for her and her situation.
You may choose closed adoption if you relate to any of the following experiences:
- You think that having a relationship with your child may be upsetting
- You think that having a relationship with your child could be hard on them
- You need to keep your pregnancy private
If you’ve determined that private adoption is right for you and your baby, you can call us today to start the adoption process for free. But, if you want to find out more about closed adoption before committing to confidential adoption, continue reading.
What is a Closed Adoption?
Closed Adoption Definition
Closed adoption means the prospective birth mother and the hopeful adoptive family have zero contact. No private information is exchanged, and no one will form a relationship before or after the adoption. Closed adoptions also are often called private adoption or confidential adoption.
Closed Adoption Facts
Although most modern adoptions are open or semi-open, some prospective birth moms still choose a closed adoption. A prospective birth mom may choose private adoption for one of the following common reasons:
The Thought of Having a Relationship With Your Child is Upsetting
A prospective birth mom may worry that having a relationship with their child will be too difficult. They think that closed adoption will help them achieve emotional closure, allowing them to grieve and continue with their life plan.
If you choose closed adoption for a similar reason, it’s important to note that most birth moms enjoy seeing their children grow up. Choosing open or semi-open adoption helps birth moms confirm that they made the right decision when they chose adoption and the adoptive family.
You are the only person who can determine how a confidential adoption will make you feel, so consider how you may feel in the future when making this important decision.
You Worry That Having a Relationship With Your Child Could Hurt Them
Some prospective birth moms worry that the adoption will negatively impact their child if they build a future relationship. You may decide to have a closed adoption if you:
- Want to hide your pregnancy to protect yourself and your baby
- Going through a hard time emotionally, physically, or mentally
- And more
We understand why you would not want to expose your child to any frustrating aspects of your life, but we also want to add that most children benefit from knowing their birth moms and their birth family’s history. If you’re worried about having contact with your child and the adoptive family right now, you can always choose a semi-open adoption and have limited contact with your baby, allowing you time to get back on your feet.
You Need to Keep Your Pregnancy Private
Some prospective birth moms choose to keep their pregnancy private for a variety of reasons, including:
- You live in an unstable home: Your partner, parents, etc., are unsupportive and would not respond well to your pregnancy. In this case, you may choose a closed adoption to relocate, hide your pregnancy, and privately move on with your life after giving birth.
- You want to keep your pregnancy private: You can choose to keep your pregnancy confidential for any reason.
We understand that some prospective birth moms have to choose closed adoption for their and their baby’s safety. But we want to stress that you can still relocate if you choose a semi-open or open adoption, too.
Remember: You are the only one who can choose what type of adoption is right for your situation.
Steps of Closed Adoptions
When you choose private adoption, you can expect to go through the following steps:
Step 1: Determine Closed Adoption is Right for You
You can choose between three adoption options. We’ve already provided the closed adoption definition, but the following are brief definitions of semi-open and open adoption:
- Semi-open adoption: You and the prospective adoptive family don’t exchange personal information but maintain regular mediated contact with the help of an adoption specialist.
- Open adoption: You and the prospective adoptive family exchange personal information and arrange communication and in-person visits on your own.
Once you’ve decided that closed adoption is right for you, you’ll work with an adoption agency to help you through the adoption process. (Generally, all adoption agencies provide closed adoption.)
Step 2: Begin to Work With an Adoption Specialist
Once you start to work with an adoption agency, your adoption specialist will take your information and help you start the closed adoption process.
It’s important to understand that even though your adoption is closed, you will have to tell your adoption professional some of your personal information. This includes:
- Your social and medical history
- Your contact information
- Whatever information you can provide about the baby’s birth father
- And possibly more
We understand that you most likely prefer keeping your information private, especially if you are concerned for your and your baby’s safety. But your specialist needs this information to ensure your adoption is legally completed and that the hopeful adoptive family is prepared to care for your child.
Step 3: Pick the Hopeful Adoptive Family
You always get to choose your baby’s hopeful adoptive family when you choose adoption. Your adoption specialist will help you create your closed adoption plan, which will indicate all the qualities you’d like the hopeful adoptive family to have.
In addition to picking your baby’s hopeful adoptive family, you also get all the other benefits that prospective birth moms who choose open and semi-open adoption have, including:
- Financial assistance
- Full control of your birth plan
- Access to adoption counseling
- Legal adoption assistance
- And more
Step 4: Continue With Your Life Post-Placement
You can continue with your life plan after giving birth, and your child is placed with the adoptive family. Choosing closed adoption can:
- Help you keep your life goals
- Allow you to maintain your privacy during your adoption and return to your life after giving birth
- Allow you to feel comfort in knowing your baby is safe and will live their life with a loving family
If you’re certain that closed adoption is right for you and you’re ready to reach out to a closed adoption agency, consider working with the following reputable adoption agencies:
When you choose a closed adoption, you can rest assured knowing that your baby will live a happy life full of opportunity in a loving adoptive family while you maintain your anonymity.
Contact us for free today if you’re ready to talk to an adoption specialist about closed adoption.