Dealing with Unplanned Pregnancy as a Man

After accidentally getting a girl pregnant, you likely have a lot of emotions running through your head. You might not feel ready to raise a child. So, what now? Fortunately, adoption is always an option.  

Regardless of whether or not you’re in a romantic relationship with the baby’s mother, supporting each other during this time can go a long way. You can figure out how to navigate the unplanned pregnancy together. Adoption is an opportunity to make the best out of a difficult situation. 

Below you can find more information about coping with an unplanned pregnancy as a father and how you can work with the birth mother to explore the options available to the both of you. To get support on how to deal with unplanned pregnancy for men, reach out to an adoption professional today. 

Can a Man Choose Adoption? 

As the baby’s birth father, you will have parental rights to the baby once it is born. How these rights apply to you will depend on your state’s laws, your relationship with the birth mother and your ability to fulfill parental responsibilities.  

How these rights affect unplanned pregnancy will come down to a case-by-case basis. You should always speak with an attorney if you have questions about your rights as a birth father. 

If you work with a national adoption agency, they can connect you with a reputable adoption attorney from their network of professionals. They will be fluent in your state’s adoption laws and parental rights and can answer your questions and help you figure out the best course of action. 

If you and the birth mother are on the same page, you can make these decisions together. If you two agree on how to handle the unplanned pregnancy, everything moving forward should be relatively simple.  

However, when it comes to an unplanned pregnancy, fathers should always respect the fact that the birth mother is the one carrying the baby. If what you want differs from her, remember this is her body and her pregnancy. Yes, this is your baby too, but she’s the one who is experiencing the pregnancy. 

Even if you disagree, you should try to support the baby’s mother as much as possible. After all, it took both of you to get to this point, you should step up and be there for her and the baby in any way that you can. By reviewing all of your unplanned pregnancy options, you are already taking an important first step. 

How Adoption Benefits Everyone Involved 

She is pregnant what do I do?” 

If you’re not sure what part you play in all of this, the best thing you can do is look at the options available to you. By choosing adoption, you’re giving your child the chance to have an amazing life with a loving family who can give them everything they need. When you work with an adoption agency, you’ll have access to many helpful resources and services such as: 

  • 24/7 counseling. Dealing with an unplanned pregnancy is stressful. There are adoption counselors available for you to talk through the emotions you’re experiencing. 
  • Financial support. Adoption is completely free to the birth. The adoptive family and adoption agency will offer financial assistance that can go towards living expenses and pregnancy costs during the adoption process. 
  • Matching services. You and the birth mother will be able to choose the adoptive parents who will raise your child. You will be able to review adoptive family profiles that match your preferences until you find the perfect match. Then your adoption professional will arrange a mediated conference call where you will be able to get to know them and ask questions. 
  • And more 

Unexpected Pregnancy Advice for Men 

An unplanned pregnancy can feel like a major setback, but it doesn’t have to be. You and the birth mother should try to support, encourage and help each other process what you’re feeling during this time.  

If you’re not sure how to handle an unplanned pregnancy as a father, here a few things you can do


An unplanned pregnancy can be an overwhelming and scary situation, but its’ not the end of the world. Take a second and breathe. It’s important to keep a level head during this time. You might feel upset with yourself, and maybe even the birth mother. 

Keep in mind the two of you got to this point together, and you can get through it the same way. Try not to make the situation solely about you. The baby’ mother is likely experiencing the same emotions you are, if not on a more intense level. She’s the one experiencing the pregnancy.  

Remember you’re in this together. It’s important that you approach this situation as a team. 

Understand Your Options 

Knowing what your options are can help ease feelings of panic. With the birth mother, you can figure out what the best option is in your current situation. However, it’s important for men dealing with an unplanned pregnancy to remember that the birth mother always gets the final say. 

When it comes to understanding your options, you have three available to you: 

  • Parenting 
  • Abortion 
  • Adoption 

Which one is best for you will depend on your situation, values and ultimately what the birth mother wants. But this is a decision you will be able to make together. 

Be There for the Birth Mother 

While it can be easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of emotions you’re likely experiencing, remember that the birth mother is dealing with difficult emotions of her own. All it takes is a simple “How are you feeling?” to open up the conversation to her.  

This allows her to talk to you about what she’s feeling and for you to empathize with her. Always remember to stay non-judgmental during this time and avoid trying to shift blame. 

If you’re struggling with accidentally getting a girl pregnant, you’re not alone. You and the baby’s mother can work together to create an adoption plan that will ensure you’re giving your baby the best life possible. You can reach out to an adoption professional today to get started. 

About the Author

Lindsay Arielle has been a proud birth mother since placing her son for adoption in 2011. Her post-placement agreement has always been an open adoption. She loves the time she gets to spend with her son and his parents during visits. Lindsay truly believes that for herself and her family, adoption has been a blessing, and she enjoys writing about spiritual healing for birth mothers.

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