Unplanned Pregnancy in a New Relationship

New relationships are exciting. The first few weeks and months are full of possibilities as you continue learning about each other. Going at a pace that’s comfortable for both of you is important to building a healthy relationship. That’s why learning of an unexpected pregnancy can bring everything to an abrupt halt.  

How do you tell someone you just started dating that you’re pregnant? If you’re not sure what to do with your new relationship and unplanned pregnancy, just know that you don’t have to figure this out alone. Adoption is always an option, and we’re here to help.  

To get more information about how to navigate your new relationship and unplanned pregnancy, continue reading or reach out to an adoption professional today.  

Your Options 

When it comes to an unplanned pregnancy, there are three options available to you. Which option is best for you and your new partner will depend on your goals for the future and your situation. Your options are: 

  • Parenting. While this may seem like the furthest thought from your mind, parenting is an option. If you and your partner both agree that you are ready to raise this child together, whether you continue your relationship or not, this might be the choice for you. However, raising a child in a new relationship can be incredibly difficult and may not be realistic. 
  • Abortion. If you’re not ready to parent and don’t want to be pregnant, you can choose to terminate your pregnancy. However, every state’s abortion laws vary. How far along you are may affect the feasibility of this option. This is also a big decision, and a decision you should run by your partner. But at the end of the day, this is your body and your choice. 
  • Adoption. When it comes to a new relationship and unplanned pregnancy, adoption offers many benefits to you, your partner and your child. You will be able to give your baby the best life possible while returning to the life you had planned for yourself. Through adoption, you’ll be able to receive: 
  • 24/7 counseling. Unplanned pregnancies can be difficult to cope with, especially in a new relationship. There are counselors available for you to talk to and help you navigate these emotions. 
  • Financial assistance. Adoption is completely free to you as the birth mother. In fact, you’ll be able to receive financial assistance through the adoption agency and prospective adoptive family that will go towards covering pregnancy costs and living expenses during your adoption process. 
  • Matching services. You will be in complete control of your adoption plan. This includes choosing the adoptive family. Your adoption professional will show you adoptive family profiles of families that match what you’re looking for. Once you find the perfect match, your adoption professional will arrange a mediated conference call for you to get to know them. 
  • And more. 

A Difficult Road 

There is no denying a new relationship and unplanned pregnancy will be difficult at first. But that doesn’t mean the end of your relationship.  

It may take some time and hard work, but the two of you can get through this together. In fact, in time, this may strengthen your relationship in ways you may not expect. No matter what, you’re not alone.  Every year, there are millions of unplanned pregnancies in the U.S., and there are options available to you. 

The two of you may not want to raise this baby at this point in your lives, especially this soon in your relationship. If this describes how you’re feeling, you can choose adoption at any point in time. 

Your Relationship Might End 

Unfortunately, couples don’t always agree on the best road forward when it comes to an unplanned pregnancy. If you can’t agree on unplanned pregnancy options or the stress is too much, a new relationship and unplanned pregnancy may be too difficult. 

This may be hard to cope with, and an unsupportive partner may only make things worse. Having a relationship with someone who doesn’t support you or doesn’t share your goals for the future may not be in your best interest. 

Your Relationship Will Change 

No matter what, pregnancy, unplanned or not, is life-changing. An unplanned pregnancy can dramatically alter the path of your relationship. This may be difficult at first, especially if things were off to a great start. But the change doesn’t have to be bad. 

It’s important that you both take the time you need to process the emotions you’re experiencing. If you need to process these emotions on your own, you are entitled to do so. But it can be helpful to do so together. If you’re trying to navigate a new relationship and unplanned pregnancy, you might be feeling fear, disappointment, confusion, anger, etc. All of these emotions are valid. While they can be difficult to cope with, things will change, but not necessarily for the worst. 

This May Strengthen Your Relationship 

While your relationship may have escalated faster than you intended, working together to address an unplanned pregnancy can bring you and your partner closer together. 

If you see a future with this person and can agree on which unplanned pregnancy option works best in your situation, the two of you can overcome this challenge together. If you’re able to work together, you will be able to handle your new relationship and unplanned pregnancy as a team. 

If you’re worried about navigating a new relationship and unplanned pregnancy, you’re not alone. You can reach out to an adoption agency at any time to get the support you need. 

About the Author

Lindsay Arielle has been a proud birth mother since placing her son for adoption in 2011. Her post-placement agreement has always been an open adoption. She loves the time she gets to spend with her son and his parents during visits. Lindsay truly believes that for herself and her family, adoption has been a blessing, and she enjoys writing about spiritual healing for birth mothers.

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