Can You “Give up” Your Child to the State?

Parenting is not for everyone, and that’s completely OK. But, you may have had this realization for yourself years into parenthood. As a result, you may be considering placing your child with the state.

To find help for your situation today, you can fill out our online contact form. Still, you may be wondering, “Can you ‘give up’ your child to the state?” The answer to this question depends on a number of details, including your state’s laws and resources. We have created this in-depth guide to provide you with a deeper understanding of what “giving up” a child to the state entails, and why there may be better options.

How to “Give up” Your Child to the State [What You Need to Know]

When it comes to “giving up” a child to the state, many state agencies don’t have the resources to accept voluntary placements. That’s because they are overwhelmed as is. But, even in states that do have options for parents looking to place their children, there are many benefits of choosing private adoption instead.

We should mention, though, that most private adoption agencies can help only with younger children. For instance, some agencies may not place children at a certain age, such as 3 or 4 years old. Other resources, such as Social Services or temporary legal guardianship, might provide a better path forward for older children.

In the meantime, we have outlined some of the benefits of adoption for prospective birth parents. Although you are now wondering how to “give up” your child to the state, you may soon realize that adoption is the right path for both you and your child.

Benefits of Private Adoption [Instead of “Giving up” a Child to the State]

 “Giving up” a child to the state may seem like your best option if you can no longer parent your child. But, there are many benefits of private adoption for prospective birth parents.

With that being said, here are some of the details behind those benefits. Remember that, if you have any questions about these benefits, you can contact us today to get more adoption information now.

More Control Over the Process

When you are a prospective birth mother pursuing adoption, you are in 100% control of your adoption plan from start to finish. You get to call all the shots, but your trusted adoption professional will do all the heavy lifting for you.

It’s easy to feel like “giving up” a child to the state is the only path forward. But, connecting with a reputable adoption professional will make you realize that there are other options.

Working with a credible adoption agency will give you the control and peace of mind that you need. Your adoption professional will ask you about your needs and preferences for your adoption process, and they’ll form an adoption plan with you that accounts for those needs and preferences.

The Ability to Choose the Adoptive Family

Another one of the benefits of adoption for prospective birth parents is choosing the adoptive family.

There are plenty of hopeful adoptive families out there that would love to adopt your child, and you can browse online profiles alongside your adoption professional. If you are wondering how to “give up” your child to the state, then it may be more helpful to realize that you can place your child with an adoptive family of your choosing.

Once you find a family’s profile that you connect with, let your adoption professional know. They can set up a meeting between you all, and they can even mediate your first conversation with the hopeful adoptive parents. This will help break the ice and dispel any lingering nerves or tension.

It’s normal to feel nervous about this, after all! Throughout this process, remember to listen to your gut, as it will often steer you in the right direction.

The Possibility of Open Adoption

If you’d like, then you can maintain a relationship with your child and the adoptive family long after placement. This is possible because of the increasing popularity of open adoption, which most prospective birth mothers pursue today.

When you are “giving up” a child to the state, you will not have the chance to stay in touch with them. With adoption, though, it is not “goodbye.” Rather, it is simply “see you later.”

Through open adoption, you can remain connected with your child and their adoptive parents through:

  • In-person visits
  • Handwritten letters
  • Photographs
  • Zoom or Skype
  • Or whatever you feel comfortable with

Remember, as the prospective birth mother, you are in full control of your adoption journey when you pursue private adoption. This includes choosing details such as the type of adoption that you would like to pursue. Although the vast majority of adoptions today are open, you can also choose semi-open adoption or closed adoption if either of those paths is right for you and your child.

Adoption Financial Assistance

You now know some of the benefits of adoption for prospective birth mothers. But, how much does adoption cost for you?

The good news is that adoption is 100% free for prospective birth mothers like you.

This is because of something known as adoption financial assistance, which covers all your pregnancy- and adoption-related costs. If you are wondering, “Can you ‘give up’ your child to the state,” then you’ll need to think about your state’s resources. With adoption, though, it is always free for prospective birth mothers.


“Giving up” a child to the state may or may not be possible depending on where you live. But, adoption may be a better alternative given your circumstances. Adoption is not an easy journey, but, as the maxim goes, nothing in life worth doing is easy.

If you would like to get more adoption information now, then you can fill out our online contact form at any time.

About the Author

Lindsay Arielle has been a proud birth mother since placing her son for adoption in 2011. Her post-placement agreement has always been an open adoption. She loves the time she gets to spend with her son and his parents during visits. Lindsay truly believes that for herself and her family, adoption has been a blessing, and she enjoys writing about spiritual healing for birth mothers.

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