Can I Place a Second, Third or Fourth Child for Adoption?

Learning of a second unplanned pregnancy or unplanned third pregnancy when your hands are full with the child or children you already have can be overwhelming.  

There’s a common image of women who choose adoption being young, single and in a state of crisis. While this does happen, many prospective birth mothers facing an unplanned pregnancy already have a child or children of their own.  

So, if you’re wondering “Can I put my second child up for adoption?” The answer is always yesAdoption is always an option for you, no matter how many children you already have. 

To learn more about how adoption works and get support today, you can contact us online. 

Common Concerns for Women Putting a Second Child Up for Adoption 

You might be worried about: 

If you’re considering putting a 2nd child up for adoption or experiencing an unplanned 3rd pregnancy you have the same options available to you as someone who doesn’t already have children.  

Even if you already have children you’re raising, choosing adoption for your unborn baby is a selfless and loving choice. You are giving them the chance to have a life that you may not be able to provide without stretching your resources too thin. 

Choosing Adoption for Unplanned Second Pregnancy or Unplanned Third Pregnancy 

If you’re dealing with an unplanned second, third or an unplanned fourth pregnancy, adoption is always there for you. Many prospective birth mothers consider adoption for their unplanned second pregnancy or unplanned third pregnancy for a variety of reasons: 

  • You’re already devoting your time to caring for your child or children 
  • You are focusing on your career 
  • Adding a child to your family would stretch your financial resources too thin 
  • You don’t want to parent 
  • You feel your family is already complete 

If you’re already caring for a child, you might feel like you’re giving up by choosing adoption for your unwanted second pregnancy when you’re already caring for a child. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Giving a second child up for adoption or third child is a brave and selfless decision.  

You might know that you don’t have the time or financial resources to devote to another child in addition to your existing child or children. You’re putting your unborn baby’s needs and the needs of your family first.  

Through adoption you’re able to give your child a life full of opportunity with a loving adoptive family, and give them a child, they’ve been waiting for. 

“Even when Trinity was in my belly, I promised her, ‘I’m going to give you the absolute best life that you deserve,’” Lindsey says about putting a second child up for adoption. “When I got pregnant with Charlotte, I promised her the exact same thing. Giving both of them the best life meant placing Charlotte for adoption and continuing to take care of Trinity and the health issues that she has.” 

How To Explain Putting a Baby Up for Adoption to Your Older Kids 

A common concern among prospective birth mothers experiencing a second unplanned pregnancy or coping with an unplanned third pregnancy is explaining your adoption decision to the child or children you’re already raising. 

If your kids are younger, they might not fully grasp the concept of adoption. But that’s ok. At the end of the day, your children just want to see you happy. By having an open and honest conversation about adoption and why it’s a good thing, your children will trust your decision.  

If you’re at a loss for how to talk to your children about adoption for your unplanned 3rd pregnancy or unplanned 4th pregnancy, here are some tips:  

  • Talk to your adoption professional. Your adoption professional will be there to help you create a plan of action of how to talk to your children about your adoption decision. They can also provide you with support and educational materials to help your children understand why adoption is a good thing. (Still looking for an adoption professional? Click here.) 
  • Introduce the idea of adoption to them early on. By talking about adoption during your pregnancy, you can help get them acquainted with the idea.  
  • Use positive adoption language. Talking about how adoption helps the baby and avoiding phrases like “giving up” for adoption will help your children understand that adoption is a positive thing. 
  • Involve them in the process. Once you’ve introduced your adoption plan to your children, you can begin involving them in your adoption in small ways such as going through adoptive family profiles together, and even allowing them to get to know the adoptive family if you feel comfortable doing so. 

Benefits of Placing an Unwanted Second Child for Adoption 

If you’re facing a second unwanted pregnancy or unwanted third pregnancy, adoption could be the best choice for you, your family and your unborn baby. Even if you’re able to parent, you might feel like your family is already complete or that adding another child to your family would strain your resources. Adoption allows you to give your baby an amazing life with a loving family and for you to comfortably care for your older children. 

Just a few of the benefits of giving your third child up for adoption include: 

  • Your child will grow up in a loving, stable home 
  • Your child will have access to opportunities 
  • You will be able to focus on your career 
  • You can continue comfortably raising your older children 
  • You can have a post-placement relationship with your baby 

“I want both of my daughters to be able to do anything they want to do, and know that they’re able to do that — to not have any fears,” Lindsey says about placing her second unwanted child for adoption.  “I hope that Charlotte knows how much I love her, even though I placed her for adoption.” 

If you’re considering adoption for your 2nd, 3rd, 4th or even an unplanned pregnancy with a 5th child, you are making a brave and selfless decision for both your unborn baby and your older children. To get more information about choosing adoption for an unplanned second pregnancy or unwanted third pregnancy, reach out to an adoption professional today. 

About the Author

Lindsay Arielle has been a proud birth mother since placing her son for adoption in 2011. Her post-placement agreement has always been an open adoption. She loves the time she gets to spend with her son and his parents during visits. Lindsay truly believes that for herself and her family, adoption has been a blessing, and she enjoys writing about spiritual healing for birth mothers.

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