There’s No Such Thing as an “Unwanted Child”

When Prospective Birth Moms and Hopeful Adoptive Families Choose Adoption, it’s a Sign of Love

One of the biggest misconceptions about adoption is that every baby put up for adoption is an unwanted child. Any birth mother or adoptive family would jump at the chance to exclaim that this assumption could not be further from the truth.

When a birth mother chooses adoption for her baby, and an adoptive family makes that child their own, both parties demonstrate their unconditional love for a baby.

Whether you’re a prospective birth mom or hopeful adoptive family, it’s essential to know that:

If you want to talk to an adoption professional about why there’s no such thing as an unwanted child, you can reach out to us today for free information. But, if you want to read more about why all adopted children are incredibly loved, continue reading.

There is No Such Thing as an Unwanted Child

An unfortunate adoption rumor that persists today is that if a child is put up for adoption, they are an unwanted baby.

Although it’s not uncommon for people researching adoption to use search terms like “what happens to babies that are unwanted after birth” or “what happens to unwanted babies in America,” it’s important to understand that no adopted kids were unwanted newborn babies or children.

Prospective birth moms and hopeful adoptive families choose adoption out of love. No matter what your reasons are for choosing adoption, your child will know that you made the best decision you could for them.

Why Prospective Birth Moms Choose Adoption

Although adoption isn’t nearly as stigmatized as it once was, many people still don’t understand why people choose adoption or how the process works. This lack of knowledge makes it easier for misinformation about adoption (like adoption is only for unwanted newborn babies) to persist.

When a woman experiencing an unplanned pregnancy chooses adoption, she often makes her decision after a lot of thought and consideration.

Some common reasons women choose adoption include:

  • She is not ready to parent
  • She is not financially ready to raise a child
  • She already has children and cannot provide for another child
  • There are many valid reasons why a woman experiencing an unplanned pregnancy may choose adoption. She never makes this choice because she has an unwanted baby.

It’s important to understand that when a woman chooses adoption, she’s not giving up her child or impulsively deciding that she has an “unwanted child.” Choosing adoption is a selfless act filled with care for an unborn child. Because when a pregnant woman chooses adoption, she’s providing her child a chance to lead a life full of opportunity with an adoptive family. Her choice also will allow a hopeful adoptive couple to become parents.

Why Hopeful Adoptive Families Choose Adoption

Unfortunately, many people have wrong ideas about why hopeful adoptive families choose to adopt, too. Common false narratives concern savior-like ideas of families “saving” an unwanted child from a bad situation. But again, this is 100% untrue.

Some common reasons hopeful adoptive families choose adoption include:

  • They want to grow their family
  • They are facing infertility and cannot become parents on their own
  • They are a same-sex couple who wants to become parents
  • And more. Adoptive families never adopt to save unwanted newborn babies.

People also don’t understand that adoption is not easy for adoptive families.

Applying to become hopeful adoptive parents is time-consuming and costs quite a lot of money. Also, when a hopeful adoptive family is cleared for adoption, they aren’t guaranteed a baby. They must create an adoptive family profile that highlights their home, lifestyles, and personalities. From there, a prospective birth mom will have the option to choose the hopeful adoptive family, not the other way around.

So, when a hopeful adoptive family decides that adoption is for them, they have to be prepared for the long haul and understand that adoption isn’t a “quick fix” to grow their family with an unwanted child.

Common Questions About “Unwanted Children”

What Happens When You Have an Unwanted Child?

Although people may think that choosing adoption means you have an unwanted baby, this assumption is not true. When a prospective birth mother – or a mother who has already given birth – chooses adoption, she makes a loving choice for her baby.

When a birth mother chooses adoption, she is:

  • Giving her child a chance at a stable future.
  • Providing people who can’t have children the chance to become parents.
  • Displaying her unconditional love for her very much wanted child by deciding she may be ready to parent.
  • And more. There are many loving reasons why women choose adoption. 

When a birth mother decides to place her baby for adoption, she typically completes the following steps:

  1. Contact an adoption agency: The birth mother can choose to work with a local, regional, or national adoption agency.
  2. Begin to work with an adoption specialist: The birth mother’s adoption specialist will ensure that she is protected during the adoption process and that she and her baby get everything they need.
  3. Make an adoption plan: Her adoption plan will outline her adoption journey.
  4. Pick an adoptive family: The birth mother is in charge of picking the hopeful adoptive family that’s best for her baby.
  5. Pick her adoption type: The birth mother is in full control of having a closed, open, or semi-open adoption. Her choice is determined by the type of contact she wants with the adoptive family and the type of relationship she wants to have with her baby as they grow.

What Happens to Babies That are Unwanted After Birth?

When birth mothers choose to place their babies for adoption directly after giving birth, it’s not because they have unwanted newborn babies. It’s because they realize that they may not be prepared or ready to raise children.

It’s never too late for a birth mother to choose adoption, so she will always be able to find an adoption agency that can help her place her child.

Generally, the adoption process is sped up after a woman gives birth. However, if the child is older, the adoption agency will work with the mother to help her child transition into their adoptive family.

All adopted children are wanted and cared for, and no baby or child is ever unwanted.

What Happens to Unwanted Babies in America?

Some people who don’t understand how adoption works may think that “unwanted children” and “unwanted babies” live in overcrowded orphanages with little to no personal belongings. This is untrue.

When a birth mother decides that adoption is best for her baby or child, one of the following scenarios typically unfold:

If a Prospective Birth Mother Decides Adoption is Best for Her Unborn Baby

She will contact an adoption agency to help her pick an adoptive family before giving birth. After she gives birth, her baby will go home with the adoptive family. Depending on the type of adoption she chooses, she, her child, and the adoptive family may stay in touch.

If a Prospective Birth Mother Decides Adoption is Best After She’s Given Birth

She will contact an adoption agency while at the hospital or after returning home from the hospital. The adoption agency will help her pick an adoptive family, and the family will travel to her location as soon as possible. Depending on the type of adoption she chooses, she, her child, and the adoptive family may stay in touch.

If a Prospective Birth Mother Decides Adoption is Best for Her Older Child

She will contact an adoption agency specializing in placing older children – it is never too late to choose adoption. They will help her pick an adoptive family. The agency, the family, and the mom will work together to help the child transition into their adoptive family.

No Child or Baby is Ever Unwanted Because Adoption is an Act of Love

Although some people believe that children are available for adoption because they are an unwanted baby or an unwanted child, this is not true. Women who choose adoption and hopeful adoptive families choose adoption out of love.

About the Author

Lindsay Arielle has been a proud birth mother since placing her son for adoption in 2011. Her post-placement agreement has always been an open adoption. She loves the time she gets to spend with her son and his parents during visits. Lindsay truly believes that for herself and her family, adoption has been a blessing, and she enjoys writing about spiritual healing for birth mothers.

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